It's over. For now.
His dad made him break up with me ):
 
here's how it went:
 
Saturday;
 
L: Hey
M: Hey whats up
L: wishing i was with you
M: Aww(: how was your day
L: Gayy
M: Why
L: My dad is trying to break us up.
M: why...?
L: he thinks im irresponsible
M: Do you wanna break up....? :/
L: i dont want too..but we might have to..but ill fight this..ok?
M: Are you serious...
L: yes...
M:Wow...
L: I dont know what to say
L: I know i hate him but im gonna do whatever it takes
M: Its not his decision..i dont understand.
L: ....
M: .........
L: i love you..i hope you know that..
M: i love you too
L: ...:/
M: ...
L: whats on your mind
M: this
L: im so sorry babe
M: its not your fault
L: i know but...
M: I dont wanna go through another heartbreak
L: me either babe..are you ok?
M: am i supposed to be okay..
L: im sorry..i really am
M: are you telling the truth..is there another girl.....
L" F*** no..are you kidding?!
M: just makining sure...i just dont get it
L: i know my dads an a-hole.
M: im not convinced..this is the STUPIDEST reason...
L: i know its not my fault i told u i would never do this to you but he is making me until summer he doesnt care babe he hates me and he knows i love you.
M: So..we're done..? I really dont wanna be
L: why are you making it seem like i want too
M:I really cant do this..what happened to forever? i wanna throw up...
L: babe its not me i swear its him he always does this
M: i dont get why your letting this happen?!
L: im nit what am i supposed to do i told you im fighting nonstop!
M: i dont wanna lose you
L: i know and im trying my hardest not to let this happen
M: i dont think you understand how much of a mess i am..without you id be nothing
L: Babe i do believe me i do im trying my hardest.
M: all the i love you's and im not gonna hurt you.....
L:Why are you directing this towards me im tryin to keep us together im not the bad guy!
M: i know..this doesnt make me love you anyless.
L: babe i will always love you this doesnt mean we cant get back together in awhile
M: what if this "break" doesnt end
L: I will if we truely love eachother
M: i dont want this to happen......
L: me either babe
M: I hate this
L: im going to bed..ill text you in the morning k babe
---
NEXT MORNING:
 
M: not talking to you is killing me
L: sorry i was doing yard work
M: Oh..is ok..im not mad at you i hope you know that.
L: I know i just hate this
M: I hate it too..but we cant do anything about it even though it hurts.
L:I know..not until summer when my dad leaves to iraq.
M: do you think you will still love me.....
L: Of course i will you know that i just hope you dont find someone else
M: i wont ill promise you that..we just need to talk alot
L: okay
M: i just wanted make sure you know how much you mean to me and this is just a bump in the road.
L: i do know...you mean the world to me.
M: Okay. i just wanted to remind you.
L: Ok lol
------
Later that night;
 
he calls me and asks if i'm okay...i said yes and he said he's really mad. There was a bunch of awkward silences and finally i just started crying my eyes out..so i was like "I'm gonna go..."
and it was still silent..and then i said "ill ttyl" and he still said nothing..so i saidd "Lester....goodbye." and he hung up me..and i just like dropped dead on my friends floor.
 
He asked if i was okay an hour later and we kinda talked..
 
But today i Asked him if on Friday he would like to meet to talk.....he didn't reply.....
 

</3
this is heartbreaking..i've cried all day:/

worryingg.:/
my boyfriend got ina fightt, told me he "had to go" but i know its because he's going to a rave. yah, a EFFING RAVE. ugh. this was 3 hours ago..im freaking outt.
 
----
Do you think you'll have a Valentine this year?
next year<3
 
Are you one of those people who are always cold?
yess
 
Do you tend to waste a lot of money?
yesss!
 
What were you up to last friday?
spending time with my boyfriend<3

What is the closest thing to you that is blue?
a pillow
 
Can you commit to one person?
i am<3
 
Who was the last person you talked on the phone with?
lauren

Do you wake up cranky?
yes

Are you afraid to stay home all alone?
nope.
 
Reason for last tear shed?
fighting with Lester
 
Are you wearing a ring?
nope,
 
Do you think things will change in the next few months?
yes, summertime!
 
Will you be in a relationship next month?
ii hope<3
 
Will you be up before 7 AM tomorrow?
hah, hope not
 
What were you doing at 8am this morning?
getting ready for school
 
What song are you currently listening to?
home- michael buble
 
Do you like hugs or kisses better?
i like both, (:
 
What color shirt are you wearing?
whitee.
 
What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleeping.
 
What is today?
friday.
 
Have you ever watched the sun rise?
no
 
Is there snow on the ground where you are?
nopeee.
 
Do you like when people play with your hair?
yess(:
 
What color is your hair?
blonde.
 
Who was the last person you said I love you to?
Lester..before he "had to go" :/
 
Where did you get your last bruise from?
hitting my knee on the bleachers
 
How do you feel right now?
tired, worried,

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months or more?
yess<3
 
Honestly, what's running through your mind?
something bad happeningg....
 
Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
i hope.
 
Hello dear. May I have your name please?
Macy, (:
 
Do you have a lot of acquaintances, just a few close friends, or both?
bothh.
 
Have you ever been stalked by anyone?
yes
 
Have you ever used beer for your cereal instead of milk?
noo?
 
Have you ever cheated at monopoly?
never played
 
Have you hugged anyone in the last 24 hours?
i do everydayy
 
Do you have drama in your life?
too much!
 
Are you a jeans and t-shirt type of person or do you prefer to dress up?
shorts and t shirt, (:
 
Are you okay with taking your clothes off in front of people?
i guess.?
 
Would you move to another state to be with the person you loved?
yes.
 
Do you have freckles?
nope
 
Do you sleep well at night?
yeah
 
Have you ever gotten to the point where you've said "I'm done trying"?
yes<//3

Is there a girl that you truly hate?
yesss....
 
Does anyone know every little detail about you?
yeaahh
 
Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 100 hours?
yeah
 

Do you have feelings for anyone?
my boyfriendd<3
 

How late did you stay up last night?
'til about 11. (:
 
This time last year, what was your relationship status?
crushingg, <3
 
What color is your hair brush?
blackk
 
Three days from now this time, where will you be?
school!

Honestysurveryy,(:
 

Honestly, what color is your underwear?
grey and white, (:
 
Honestly, whats on your mind?
my boyfriend<3

Honestly, what are you doing right now?
thiss, and listening to Michael Buble' <3

Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Lauren, (:
 
Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
Ehh, not really, (:
 
Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?
liars.
 
Honestly, do you bite your nails?
yess
 
Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?
Yess. (:
 
Honestly, are you keeping a big secret?
Noo.
 
Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like?
yess.
 
CAN SECTION
 
Can you blow a bubble?
mhm(:
 
Can you do a cart wheel?
I used too. hahaha
 
Can you touch your toes?
Yess.
 
Can you whistle?
No ):
 
Can you wiggle your ears?
noooo.
 
Can you wiggle your nose?
i guess?.
 
Can you make a clover with your tongue?
noo
 
ANGER SECTION
 
What do you do when you’re mad?
cryy, and yell.
 
What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?
Idkk. lmfao
 
Do you swear when you’re mad?
yes, (:
 
TEAR SECTION
 
Ever really cried your heart out?
yeahh.:/
 
Ever cried yourself to sleep?
a lot of timess.

 
Ever cried over the same sex?
Yes.
 
Do you cry when you get an injury?
depends.
 
Do certain songs make you cry?
Yess.
 
Do certain movies make you cry?
eh, not really.
 
HAPPY SECTION
 
Are you usually a happy person?
when im with him.♥
 
What makes you the happiest?
Lester, my friends, and my family (:

Does being with your friends make you happy?
Yess.
 
Do you believe in yourself?
I try, (:
 
Is being happy overrated?
nahh.
 
Can music make you happy?
yeahh,♥

HATE SECTION
 
Do you actually hate anyone?
uhm, not really.
 
Do you hate George Bush?
yep.
 
SELF-ESTEEM SECTION
 
Is your self-esteem extremely low?
noo, (:
 
Do you wish you could be someone else?
nahh.
 
PHYSICAL SECTION:

 
Current piercings:
earss
 
Have any tattoos?:
nah.

 
Straight hair or curly?
straighttt.

What shirt are you wearing?
a black tee.
 
Pants:
spandexx.♥
 
Shoes:
no shoes (:
 
Necklace:
nope
 
HAVE YOU EVER SECTION
 
Hugged someone:
yesss<3
 
Been on the phone until the sun came up?
nooo.
 
Laughed so hard you cried?
Yeahh. (:
 
Got in a fight with someone?
not like physicall fight.
 
LASTS SECTION
 
Person you talked to in person:
My mom
 
Person you talked to online:
Isaac
 
Person you hugged:
Lester.

RANDOM SECTION
 
Do you like surveys?
Haha,yeah
 
Do you get along with your parents?
yess (:
 
Do you have mental breakdowns?
not reallyy.
 
CURRENT SECTION
 
Current mood:
happy. <3
 
Current music:
riding solo - jason derulo.
 
Current hair style:
straight
 
Current thing I ought to be doing:
homework
 
Current windows open:
Polyvore&playlistt.
 
Current desktop picture:
me.sam.ash
 
Current book:
None
 
DID SECTION
 
Did you ever get into a fist fight in school?
Nopee.
 
Did you ever run away from home?
noo
 
Did you ever want to be a doctor?
No.
 
Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?
nahh
 
DO SECTION
 
Do you know how to swim?
yess
 
Do you like roller coasters?
ehhh
 
Do you own a bike?
mhm(:

i knew i never stopped loving cody, i especially knew last night.
Last night i've never felt so proud of myself.
Me and My friend called him..and we talked for hours (this was a restrcited call) and somehow we got on the topic of love..
and this is how it went:
Cody: I messed up, i did.
Me(as a diff person): How?
Cody: I just did. I loved them...
Me: Who? You can trust me.
Cody: Well there was this girl Sophie...and i cheated on her with a girl named Brianna..and then there was this one girl, and i just couldn't make her happy, and her name was..Macy.
Me: Well, what happened with Sophie?
Cody: I LOVED her. and i don't love.
Me: Then tell her.
Cody: I did. And she loved me too, but i doubt that.
Me: When you tell someone you love them; it's the truth.
Cody: I don't know why i did this.
Macy:....Well what happened to Macy?'
Cody: I let her go. And i don't know why.
Macy: There must me a reason
Cody: God, she deserved so much better than me. She really did.
Macy: Tell her.
Cody: I might.
Macy: Do you go to school with any of them?
Cody: Macy
Macy: Is it hard?
Cody: It is.
Macy: Why?
Cody: Because every time i look at her, i see what i did to her.
Macy: Oh Cody.....
Cody: this is macy.
Macy: Waht? no???
cody: i know you macy, you have a certain voice. oh god macy, this is macy!
Macy: NO
Cody: Your making me go crazy, you sound just like her...Macy has a certain tone to her voice..and i know it very well.
Macy: I dont know a macy!
Cody: CALL ME BACK AT 12:55!!!!
 
and then he called me!!! on my phone
 
Cody: Macy!
Me: What?!
Cody: I SWEAR TO GOD, i was just talking to you.
Me: What??????
Cody: I know you, your such a bad liar.
Me: what are you smoking?!
Cody: I want to say sorry. I am. I'm sorry Macy.
Me: For what?
Cody: Everything.
Me: I can't be mad at you forever.
Cody: DAMMIT MACY.
Me: WHAT?!
Cody: I'll call you back.
Me: Bye.
 
Then we called him again (on restricted)
and him and my friend were talking.
he said "whoever is there, who sounds like Macy. Tell her i'm sorry. She knows why. I'm sorry." (he kinda knew it was me)
and then she was like "whose this macy chick?"
and he explained how we used to like each other..and how i was pretty and he liked my sweetness and innocence..but then he had to go because he was getting up at 5.
 
And we talked to him a little today also.
So me as myself, texted him to see if he was okay, because our phone call was so short and he neveer called me back..but he never replied :/
 
anyways, i'm going crazy. i love him. and i never stopped i guesss.
after talking to him i got a stomach ache, idk why.
I don't think he likes me. But godd, those words that he said about me made my heart drop.
<3

ehh. life suckss.
mostly becausee i lost someone who mean't everythingg to me. so today i decidedd not to go to school, i need a break. ughh </3